Summer Diaries #2. Out In The Open.

So those of you who missed out on the cool, refreshing fights this summer and were oh so stuck in our lovely metropolis, I bet you had the times of your lives doing absolutely nothing at all. The only decent place you could hang out in was next to some kind of water. So one day I spied on my two trendy neighbours, who were developing this gorgeous tan, but were so not going to Mangalia until the prices got lower.. The thing that made me suspicious was the fact that they were both carrying around bottles of ex-refreshing drinks filled with water. So I thought “they are most definitely not going to a pool”. So I put my sunglasses and straw hat on and I started playing detective. The two blonde beauties slowly walked into the park. Oh my God, the I.O.R. park. They sat down on their blankets, got topless and started sunbathing next to that horrible horrible fish-killing water. That smelly water, that impossible, PET-filled water. And they were not alone. Actually, they were surrounded by blackened old people. They were black because they had been probably sunbathing since the beginning of June, daily. Which is pretty sad. It was such a strange atmosphere, you could see the gypsy boys masturbating in the bushes, the dogs pooping everywhere they could, the bottles of water emptying on all those bodies...
And then, the barbecues. The average Romanian male cannot conceive life without one. They usually take place on the ground,but sometimes they get really high, 8 story high, and reach the rooftops. I’ve seen so many roof barbecues this summer, you have no idea. But the classical form of barbecue takes place next to a car. The car has all its doors open. Including the trunk. And guess what. It screams with horrible horrible music. You can find a definition of this kind of music here. To make it easier for you, “Manele is a form of music popular among the uneducated classes from Romania. Although it draws on indigenous musical forms such as the limerick, and has been heavily influence by Turkish and Gypsy throat-singing, all experts agree that it owes most of its originality to Bob Dylan, its most famous practitioner, and hence can most succinctly be described as a kind of jazz.”
So anyway. I’m pretty sick of my memories of this hot, hot summer in Bucharest. Nothing happened and, well, why would we want to talk about nothing?...
Better yet, check the rest of Uncyclopedia.
Try to become a "model Bucharest citizen", as they say in Dambovita English.

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